quotes of the day
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quotes of the day
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quotes of the day
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quotes of the day
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
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Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
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In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
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You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
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Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
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It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
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Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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